This is Not Life

Last night I saw a show on CNN called "This is Life."  I've seen this show before and I notice a common trend about it.  The show highlights the aspects of life that are very seedy.  Past shows were about strippers, motorcycle gangs, heroine users, etc.  Reaching an all time low, last night's show was about Satanists.  This group wanted to erect a 9 foot statue of baphomet in Detroit.  The group behind it was the same group that had the statue of the Ten Commandments removed from a courthouse in Oklahoma.  Their argument was religious freedom and not having one religion forced on people by the government. 

The host of the show, Lisa Ling, who strikes me as one big knucklehead, interviewed key individuals from the group as well as some of their members.  Then there was an unveiling of the statute of baphomet and church groups in Detroit gathered outside of the building to protest it. 

I think the thing that bothers me is twofold.  The first is that Christians are always portrayed as the enemy or as a group of "weirdos" on television.  The second is that this issue is not really one of religious freedom.  Its veiled by that cause but in reality, its so much deeper than that.  Christianity, in its truest sense and purpose, is not a religion.  It is very far from it.  Jesus did not come to create religion but rather to create relationship with God the Father.  It is through Him that we are reconciled to God from the sin of Adam. 

Satan is the enemy of your soul and those that follow him are sorely misled.  They worship the statue and engage in all forms of debauchery thinking that this is freedom.  And yet the evil they worship is the same evil we see in terrorism, hate, violence, corruption and all other ailments of the human race.  Even sickness.  What is it that Satan has that anyone would want to even be associated with him?  These people have no idea that Satan hates all mankind, is a serial killer and would slash their throats in an instant. 

Does that sound harsh?   This isn't a game, you know. 

This show inadvertently promotes evil by showing this type of "journalism."  There was the mother who's son was gay and was made fun of and he overdosed accidentally.  They show her sadness and her longing to belong to a group that does not promote a religion that rejects homosexuality.  Then they showed members of this group going into pregnancy counseling offices to secretly tape them trying to talk women out of abortion by telling them about the health risks.  And that they must be Christian organizations.  Again, Christianity is bad.  That's the message.   

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  The Bible talks about the day when evil will be seen as good and good will be seen as evil.  This must be that day.  And it will get worse.  Pretty soon, any mention of Christianity will be deemed politically incorrect, intolerant and discriminatory against anything and everything the world deems as proper.   Is the this "blurred lines" people talk about?

I am led to believe that the dangers of being lukewarm in a person's faith in God are very real.  If you are not serving the one true God, then you are serving the enemy.  You might think you are a casual observer but think again.  If you take part of this promotion of evil as good, you will have to explain it one day.  Claiming it was just journalism won't save you.  And I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.   

Paris

Clearly the battlefield has moved from the wars of yesterday.  Before you had to "go to war," whereas now it comes to you.  And the citizen becomes the reluctant soldier.  And how exactly do you fight an enemy that doesn't give a nickel for their own life? 

Close the borders, don't close the borders.  Common sense would say to close them.  But then people feel bad about the genuine refugees who have no place to go.   The President plans to allow a large number of refugees in next month.  We cannot be so ignorant to believe that some terrorists will not be in that group. 

Some say that if we had guns, the terrorists would quickly be shot down.  Then lets all carry guns.  This is a war after all isn't it?  Maybe that's not the answer either.

There are so many analysts on cable news channels these days that go on and on about the situation and I have to wonder if they are just there to hear themselves talk on the subject, as if they have any idea.  We listen to them and maybe nod our heads but that's where it ends.  Maybe talking about it makes some people feel better.  The President talks about it, Hilary talks about it, the GOP candidates give their 2 cents about it. 

To be continued...

Sleep

Sleep, you are a thing I contend with every night.  Its almost as if you've taken on physical attributes.  I think you are a woman because you are fickle and moody and we are like that.  Some nights you are my happy friend and other nights you are distant and aloof.  You arrive eventually but every morning you overstay your welcome.  I can't get you to leave when I have to go to work. 

Sometimes I want to say to you - I don't need you.  You are a big waste of time to me and I'm tired of dealing with you.  But my body won't let me do that.  I wish God had created us with a mechanism to recharge that was easier to manage, like plugging into an outlet for an hour.  But that would be weird.  And imagine all the dreams we would miss. 

I acknowledge that when sleep takes long to arrive, its my fault.  I give in to my wandering, roaming mind as I lay down when I'm supposed to be still and quiet.  I'm like a little kid who doesn't want to go to bed because the play time is over.  That must be it.  My evenings are my play time and when I wake up, its work time.   So I have to make my peace with Sleep.  She's not as difficult as I make her out to be.  Sometimes the answer lies within ourselves.

Five things I wished someone had told me about aging parents.

“Oh, are you sending your kid off to college?” a woman asked me as she saw the twin extra-long sheets in my shopping cart.  I just smiled and nodded at her.  I didn’t want to tell her the truth which was that a hospital bed was delivered to my mother’s home and the bed happens to be a twin extra-long.  It hit me later that she wasn’t completely wrong – I was in a way a parent now, not to college bound kids but to elderly parents.  I never had children of my own, but at this stage in my life, the word “diaper” has appeared when I thought I was never going to use that word.   

 

Sometimes I think the realization of the switch came soft and gently and other times I feel as if it smacked me in the face.  It was two years ago when my parents began to fall.  My nearly 88 year old dad has recovered and seems to be on stable ground, whereas my 80 year old mother has been in the nursing home 4 times now.  People are living much longer these days and we’re going to see a lot more people hit 100.  Are we ready to take care of them? 

But what I’m talking about is keeping your own sanity while caring for parents that love and need you.  I have a friend whose 80 year old mother is a caregiver to her 100 year old grandmother.  That’s rough.  I’m 50 and there are days when I want to lay on my mother’s hospital bed.  

At 20, I believed I would be young forever and so would my parents.  Their aging was the furthest thing from my mind.  At 30, I still to some degree believed that the golden years were too far away to even consider.  I would have laughed if anyone had come up to me then and told me to make sure I was prepared for caring for my aging parents.  Even in my early 40s, my mother could walk faster than me.  And my dad spent hours out in his garden.  And I was happily living in the stupor of my own naiveté. 

 Of course hindsight is 20/20 but still you wish you had someone tell you what to expect, whether you were really listening or not.  What would I tell my 30 or 40 year old self now?  That’s what this article is about.  So if you’re 20, save this somewhere and bring it out when you turn 30.  Remember it when you are 40 and you will thank me by the time you are 50. 

How do you prepare for the increased life span of elderly parents? Here’s some tips:

 1.  Remember that you are not alone.  So many have dealt with these issues before you.  Keep a circle of friends your age who are going through the same things or join groups that are.  Solidarity always makes it easier to go through things you are not sure of and you can always learn from each other as well. 

 2.  Regardless of what your age is, when your parents reach 65, that might be a good time to talk to them about what their plans for the future are.  I know 65 is young these days and many don’t want to think about unpleasant things.  You could just say you want to be prepared.  Talking about finances and available resources are very important topics.  Should they take out a long term care insurance policy?  This would be the age to figure some of this stuff out.

3. Have a sit down with your siblings.  I see time and again when an only daughter or an unmarried sibling is left with the responsibilities to care for the aging parents.  Have that talk now about what each of you think would be fair.  These parents raised all of you and this should be a joint effort.  If not, resentments can form and make things worse.  If you are the only child, then do some research on caregivers. There are many good ones out there.

 4.  If your parents are 75 and traveling the world over, great.  But anyone can slip in the bathtub.  Talk to your parents about when to take precautions by putting in safety rails, bathtub benches, etc. 

 5.  Most important point – take care of yourself.  I saw a poster the other day that said “When caring for others, don’t leave yourself behind.”  A close friend of mind told me once that in an effort to keep my parents alive, I was killing myself.  That really stung.  I was so wrapped up in meeting other’s needs that I had left myself behind.  I had to learn to let go and stop trying to be superwoman. 

 So my advice is, find time to nurture your soul when caring for aging parents.  Do the things that bring joy to your life, no matter how simple those things might be.  Renew and refresh your own life on a regular basis and when the waters rage, you’ll be better equipped to handle the storm.  Once a woman who saw me helping my mother in a public bathroom told me she that got to care of her mother also and that I was blessed.  I didn’t feel very blessed at the time but I chose to believe that woman because she had gone through the experience.  She knew the ups and downs and with her mother now gone, I could see she held no regrets.  That’s where I hope to be, with no regrets.

Frank Underwood's God issues

Francis Underwood has some God issues.  The last episode I watched, he was in a church and spit on the crucifix.  Just prior to that, he asked a bishop why Jesus allowed himself to be killed and the bishop had no answer.  Would a real bishop know the answer or is this art imitating life?  Personally, I don't see how you can be in the church long enough to become a bishop and not know why Jesus had to die.  Its a basic premise taught in Sunday school.

I was not so shocked at the scene where Frank spits on the crucifix.  God is so much bigger than that.  And the scene is just there to make the show edgy.  But what is interesting is that Frank seems to be torn between doing what is right and doing what he wants to get ahead.  The notion of love your neighbor has no use in his life. 

That's ok for a fictional character but what happens is people are sitting on the couch watching this.  Through these shows, television tells people what to think, how to think and what is ok.  Viewers begin to assimilate to the characters they watch on these shows and take on their characteristics.  I know that sounds ludicrous but it happens more often than not.  No one wants to admit it because  they'd be embarrassed.  How many men started acting like Don Draper after Mad Men first came out?  I imagine a lot. 

So we watch these scenes and feel like we get some kind of "hall pass" to enter into a place where otherwise you feel like there's no access, because after all, Frank Underwood did it.  The only problem is, where does it take you and is that really a place you want to be?  I think we have to remind ourselves that this is just television and we really should think for ourselves.

Immigration

My parents are immigrants.  My father came her from Peru in 1955 and my mother from Argentina in 1960.  They met in Chicago.  But before they came, they got their papers in order and came here legally.  They went through the citizenship process and have paid their taxes all these years.  I don't remember once where my father ever had the idea or the inclination to take a hand out.  He knew that hard work was the only way he would ever get anywhere and the only way he would ever want to get anywhere.  I remember once he told me the story that he got into a car accident and the doctor got mad at him because he would not fake injuries.  I think the doctor called him stupid for not taking whatever money he could have from a claim.  But that was my dad and he wanted to be able to look at himself in the mirror every day.  He wasn't perfect but he had integrity. 

I am a first generation American and I was born here.  So that makes me an American citizen and I am proud of that.  I've never seen myself as anything but American, even though my heritage is not.  How would I feel if I were born here and was not given citizenship?  I think pretty bad.  I don't have a connection with South America because I didn't grow up there.  So would I feel like a person without country?  Maybe.  I don't think that's right.  Do I agree with what Donald Trump proposes about the "anchor" children?  No.  We do have a right as any other country to secure our boarders but there are so many issues involved that I think deserve careful consideration. 

Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.  

Please Hit the "Like" Button

Facebook is creating a very fragile society where if what you say or do isn't liked, then your self worth is diminished.  Being from a generation that didn't have computers or cell phones growing up and even out of high school, I can leave the Facebook world and its subliminal message of conformity very easily.  But what about the younger generations that know nothing but this?  What are the adults of the future going to be like?

I ask this in the aftermath of the Supreme Court making gay marriage legal in this country.  I'd like to believe that I would be sober enough to argue that the non-elected justices in the Supreme Court should not create laws, regardless of whether I was in favor of the issue or not.  It so happens I am not in favor of gay marriage so its an easier conclusion for me. 

Personally I don't care if gay people get married.  Its not like straight people honor the institution of marriage for what God created it to be.  My problem is that it is going to propel the criminalization of Christianity and that has already begun.  In Oregon, a bakery turned away a gay couple and the State issued a gag order against them, stating that they could not talk about their faith because it was discriminatory.  What a minute.  If homosexuality is against my religion, why do people get to flaunt it?  Isn't that discriminatory against me?

Most of the country is not in favor of gay marriage, to be completely honest.  But you wouldn't know it.  The day after the Supreme Court decision, lots of people on Facebook put the sheer rainbow over their profile picture.  Did anyone put up a traditional marriage symbol?  No.  Because if you do, you get stomped on.  You get called names and might even - gasp - have people unfriend you.  Not like you actually talk to each of those 3,000 people on your page.  Its not like you actually know what's going on in their life or even give a shit.

I posted something on my page.  I posted a sign that said "Keep Calm, Marriage is Between a Man and a Woman."  I got one like.  But I didn't post it to get liked.  I posted it because my conscience wouldn't allow me to just sit there.   Its not like we have to thump the Bible over peoples' heads.  But we should exercise our right to speak up, shouldn't we?  Because at the end of the day, the most important person who should "like" you, is you.

Indiana

What is wrong with this country?  People will not be happy until we've become completely godless.  If you are a Christian and aim to live your life according to God's will, then there are things that you don't want to be involved in and should not be involved in.  But if you stand up for yourself, you are called a hater.  The other side screams discrimination.  And the problem is they scream louder than the Christians trying to hold on to some rights in this country.  The headline in the newspaper that reads FIX IT NOW, the boycotts and demonstrations are just a few examples.  Only one group will prevail.  And its always the louder group. 

We voted on Prop. 8 and it passed.  But then people started yelling and screaming and it was overturned.  Our votes didn't count at all.  We had no voice anymore.  Liberals are all about civil rights but only if their issues prevail.  Christians are being pushed into the closet and there seems to be nothing we can do about it.  Sometimes we're too quiet.