I saw a six part series on American Experience about Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd Lincoln. I wanted to watch it because it seemed like I knew so little about her except that she was supposedly mad. The program was pretty interesting and informative and I feel like I have a little more information about her. From what I saw and heard, its my opinion (I'm not a professional) that she might have been bi-polar. Its indicative not only by her ups and downs but she was apparently a shopaholic. That impulsive behavior is another sign of bi-polar disorder along with the severe mood swings. Looks like she got into alot of debt and interestingly, her main concern about her huband not being re-elected was that he would find out about the thousands of dollars of debt she incurred.
No doubt this woman suffered a great deal of loss. She lost her mother at a young age which I believe may have been part of the cause of her instability as an adult. After her 11 year old son Willie died, she became friends with a woman named Elizabeth Keckley. She was African-American and also had a son who died. Probably one of the most positive things I learned about Mary is that with Elizabeth, she became involved in helping former slaves. Even though she grew up in a wealthy environment with slaves around her, she agreed with her husband that slavery was wrong and this work she was doing must have been a very positive thing in her life.
But the anxiety and spending continued, even public outbursts. After her husband was killed, she pretty much went over the edge. Imagine leaving the White House to go to the theater and then returning alone, without him. She stayed there a month and then moved out without hardly anyone there to see her leave. . I cant imagine how she must have felt. And then to hear she rented different motel rooms until Robert had her declared insane and she went into Bellvue for two years. Here she was the wife of the President who wrote the Amancipation Proclamation and caused the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution to come about and she's locked up.
After two years, she was released and she went to live with her sister in the house she grew up in. Things had come full circle and she was alone. She died at 64. I believe if she were alive today, things would have been different for her. There's medication for practically every type of mental illness and therapy might have helped her as well. Her son would not have died of typoid and her husband might not have been assassinated, although we remember JFK.
I cannot imagine what Mary was actually going through but I think things could have turned out differently. I dont think she needed to die in obscurity. I believe had she continued with the work she began with Elizabeth Keckley, she would have found the purpose in her life that would have sustained her. Imagine all the other women whose husbands died during the Civil War. She could have been a voice for them as well. The country was working on reconstruction and she could have played an important role in that and continued in the work her husband began. She could have been remembered in her own right.
I think the impression I was left with after watching this series is that at some point, you have to take your eyes off yourself or you wont survive. Regardless of whatever grief ails us in our lives, we have to turn away from ourselves and direct compassion or pity as it may be, to others in need. Mary was not the only one suffering during that time in history. What of the women who perhaps lost all of their sons during the civil war? And what was the war about? It may not have started to end slavery but it became about slavery and even though Lincoln had to endure being labled as the widow maker, he pressed on to eradicate this evil thing. And then evil returned for restitution and took his life. Freedom is never free. I wish someone had told Mary that the work her husband did was really greater than any of them and there's always a price to pay. She could have lived in the realization of what her husband did and what he became in American history and she could have continued in that cause.
In whatever soberness of mind is left amongst the ashes of what a person's life may look like, that person will have to tell themself to play the hand they've been dealt and move forward. And at some point, even though it may seem in the very distant horizon, the sun rises. Lincoln didnt die in vain. Neither did anyone who died in that war. It takes courage to live this life, whether fighting for a noble cause or trying to overcome an addiction or going to a job you dont care much for. But you keep going. And at some point, as Hemmingway said, the sun always rises (even though he killed himself but that's another story).
