I turned 50 a couple of weeks ago. This whole year I was terrified of the idea until it happened and now I realize its no big deal. I don't feel any different. A friend of mine told me I can now tell people to piss off. I think there's some truth to that. We live most of our lives worried about what other people thing, that at some point, we need to drop that burden. I know I do. I also discovered that maybe I'm not married because I didn't want to marry. I certainly had opportunities but there was something there that kept me from doing it. I always thought it was a bad thing but now I don't think that anymore. Maybe its just a part of who I am. Its parents and society that force the idea of marriage upon women (mostly) and that you are defective if that doesn't happen to you. I don't feel defective. I know that others made me feel that way. Why is it that married people want everyone else to be married? If marriage is so great, why is the divorce rate 50%? And of the 50% that remain married, how many of them are staying together for the kids or because its cheaper than spousal support?
Being free is not just about not caring what people think about you because you're single. Its about not caring about anything that they think. I know people in their 70s who still care what others think and I see how oppressive it is for them. How horrible to live all those years and never be free of that thing.
I believe one thing to keep in mind is that appearances can be deceiving. You might see someone who seems to have a perfect life with everything going on but underneath it all, there's a lot of misery. And that might be the person who you are trying to get approval from. Doesn't make sense. Our thoughts, our decisions, our daily life should never be influenced by what others think, even if they are family members. We still love them but we can't live our lives for them.
No comments:
Post a Comment